What to Make of Strikeforce: Nashville

So it has been awhile since I have made a blog post. Sorry about that. Just didn't have much to say. But watching the latest CBS Saturday Night Fights involving the main event of Dan Henderson vs. Jake Shields brought a lot of inspiration. There are three areas I want to hit, the fights, the brawl, and the stupid Canadian that floods my ears with nonsense and hurts my eyes with his presence on my television, Mauro Ranallo.

The Fights:

CBS and Strikeforce drew up a great televised card by showing some of their biggest names who own title belts. Gegard Mousasi, the Strikeforce Light Heavyweight Champion, was one of those names and he was being touted as a man who would dominate the sport for years to come since he is only 24 years old. What I liked about him in the previous three fights that I had seen out of him was the fact that he looked like he was bored out of his mind in each of them before and during the fights, then all of a sudden he'd throw 10 to 20 punches in three seconds and knock a guy out. The unassuming, sleepy act intrigued me. He fought Muhammad "King Mo" Lawal, a huge black man from Texas who won an NCAA title in wrestling for Oklahoma State. He entered the fight 6-0 with 5 KO's, all of them basically from taking a guy down and then beating said guy into a bloody mess. All signs pointed to Mousasi punching this guy and dominating the stand-up part of the fight and retaining his belt. What everyone forgot though was how affective a great double leg takedown can be, and whether Mousasi even had takedown defense. Needless to say, Mousasi spent the entire fight breathing heavy and looking at this tremendous black man rain down fists of anger. Mousasi looked like he'd rather be in bed taking a nap than fighting and "King Mo" wrestled his way to a victory. The fight went 25 minutes and there were very few highlights (Those highlights being "King Mo's" entrance in which he danced with a bunch of white girls while wearing a cape and crown, "King Mo" thanking the haters for booing him after the fight, and the fact that his nickname is "King Mo"). So far, this night was off to a bad start.

The next fight was for the Strikeforce Lightweight Championship and it involved Champion Gilbert Melendez against Challenger Shinya Aoki. Aoki had never fought in the U.S. but he posed a 23-4-1 record and many MMA critics considered him to be a top 3 Lightweight in the world and the favorite in the match-up against a talented but young Melendez. Then the words "submission specialist" are uttered by the incomparable Gus Johnson and alarm bells begin to ring in my head. That is when I realized that the viewing audience was headed for another "technical battle" which is impressive and boring all in one. Aoki preceded to get owned in the stand-up by a guy who isn't in the top ten in his weight class in that facet of the game and then Aoki continued to flop to the ground and try to draw Melendez into a grappling battle which Melendez intelligently refused. Aoki did a fantastic job of making sure that nobody in the U.S. will ever take time out of their life to watch him fight because he straight up looked like a chump who wanted no part of throwing blows with Melendez, which to his credit, tried to engage Aoki throughout the fight. Melendez was easily the most impressive fighter of the night as he retained his title after five rounds (sense a theme for the fights?).

The main event of the evening featured the legend Dan Henderson vs. Champion Jake Shields. Henderson is known for his power and the fact that he loves to throw punches that will take your head off. He holds his right hand cocked and loaded for entire fights just waiting to throw it and land on his opponent's chin. Jake Shields, on the other hand, is a technical fighter (uh oh) who is a world class wrestler (Uh Oh.) and only has 3 KO's in 29 fights (UH OH!). Those same alarm bells were ringing when I saw Shields was fighting after the last live fight he had against Jason "Mayhem" Miller when he basically laid on top of Miller for 25 minutes, took his victory, and went home. Well the first round showed Henderson almost knock Shields out twice and I was finally excited. Johnson began to raise his volume and I began to feel an exciting finish was finally going to happen. To Shields' credit, he survived the two tremendous right hands he took on the chin and he showed that he could take a punch and has heart. In the second round, Shields took Henderson down and quickly mounted him. Shields showed why he is so feared on the ground and it was impressive to see, but boring to watch. For the last four rounds, Shields would mount Henderson and throw punches that were reminiscent of how elementary school children play patty cake with one another. He seriously got zero torque on his punches while in a completely dominant position and he proceeded to win the fight via decision that he could have easily stopped if he had any power in his hands (which he showed he didn't). I'll always say this when it comes to MMA, good fighters can win fights, great fighters finish them. Georges St. Pierre and Jake Shields are the worst "good fighters" to watch, in my opinion, and they make for boring fights. Shields retained his belt via decision after five rounds (again!).

The Brawl:

The best part of the entire night was during Shields' post fight interview in the ring. Johnson is talking to Shields when Miller walks in and interrupts Shields during his interview. Let's pause here. Now setting up future main events with face-offs after a fighter wins is an MMA standard. It piques the fans desire to see a fight between the two guys facing off and it adds a nice period to a night of fights. Usually after the winner of a fight is done talking, he will then be approached by a challenger who will congratulate the winner on his win, express a desire to be the next opponent, and then a handshake and face-off ensues, followed by another handshake. But Miller is one who loves to draw attention and "shock" people, so he ignored proper etiquette of the face-off and proceeded to disrespect Shields.

So we continue with Melendez (training partner and friend of Shields) stepping in and telling Miller to back up and pushing him. Words are exchanged, Miller shoves him back, then Shields shoves Miller, and then Nick and Nate Diaz (fighters, training partners of Shields, and resident thugs from the mean streets of Stockton, CA...) jump Miller and a brawl ensues. There are about ten men who are taking shots at Miller and Miller is holding his own all by himself. Finally the brawl is broken up and no significant damage appears to have been caused. Let's recap what Strikeforce wanted from Miller's appearance in the ring and compare it to what happened. Strikeforce wanted a proper face-off that had good sportsmanship, a little bit of hostility, maybe some words exchanged, and then Johnson to tie a bow on the night with his fantastic mic skills. What ensued was Miller being an attention seeking dumbass, Melendez, the Diaz brothers, and Shields proving how truly ghetto they are, and the most exciting fight of the night that only lasted about 20 seconds. It is insane to me that the only time I was actually enthralled by what I was watching was during a poor attempt at what should be an easy MMA face-off that turned into a night out on the streets of Stockton. I could see this in Eugene if I party with a football player, I expect more from an MMA telecast. The night of fights sucked and I haven't even gotten to the worst part...

The Main Reason Canada Sucks:

Mauro Ranallo is the guy that no one invited to the party who shows up anyway. Mauro Ranallo is the man at work who sits by you at lunch everyday and talks about the personal details of his life with you, and all you want to do is eat your sandwich and not be around him. Mauro Ranallo is the guy who runs into you at the bar, proceeds to accept rounds of drinks from others but has no money to reciprocate those drinks (or so he says), then asks for a ride home in your car and then pukes all over the backseat. I do not like Mauro Ranallo. He is the worst MMA announcer and I don't understand how he ever got a job announcing MMA fights (for Pride or CBS). He makes Joe Rogan sound like an intelligent human being. He constantly steps on the toes of the best announcer in sports, Johnson, and speaks for 30 to 40 seconds at a time about fights that happened in Japan over three to four years ago that no one watched or cared about. He offers history on the fighters that are as relevant as what brand of toothpaste that the fighters use before entering the ring. His voice is annoying and sounds fake. He wears stupid looking glasses. The worst part about Ranallo, he thinks he is the best MMA announcer in the world. In his head, his opinion matters and people listen to what he has to say and they take it to heart. When the people who watch and listen to him fall asleep that night, they will remember his fantastic knowledge of when random Japanese fighter X was beaten by the random participant who is involved in the current fight back in 2005. Ranallo is the most important man on the telecast in Ranallo's mind. Case in point, after the brawl Shields was brought to the announcing booth for an impromptu one on one interview with Johnson that they didn't get to have in the ring. While Johnson and Shields are speaking, Ranallo begins to enter the camera shot from the left, tapping Shields on the shoulder as he is speaking and trying to enter the interview from the other side. Shields has his back to him and will not respond because he is answering Johnson's question in this ONE-ON-ONE INTERVIEW! Finally Shields then leaves and Johnson throws Ranallo a question so that he won't throw a fit. What does Ranallo do? He says "Excuse me Gus, but I'd like to say a few words on what just happened". Basically Ranallo gives Johnson a big "Fuck You, Gus, it's my turn to talk" and proceeds to spit out some dumb opinion about how the brawl and Miller's antics were despicable. First off, NOBODY ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION RANALLO!!!!!! Second, when Johnson asks a question, you answer it. He is the best and you are not. ANSWER THE QUESTION! Third, he is trying to steal a shot from Johnson on live television and thus creating an awkward moment after an awkward brawl. GET OUT OF THE SHOT!!! Basically, Strikeforce took two steps back with this event because the fights were boring and they refuse to not have Ranallo pollute my television screen with his dumb comments and looks on his dumb face.